Help! My dog is too friendly...

Help and advice for people who's dog is just too friendly

Every day I read posts on facebook chastising people for letting their friendly dog run up to other dogs. The facebook posts make it clear that it's unacceptable and you are in the wrong if your dog runs up to someone else's on lead dog.  Shouting "my dog's friendly" only seems to antagonise people!  However, if you do have one of these dogs, what are you meant to do?

While I don't disagree with this sentiment, it is extremely frustrating and anxiety inducing when you have a dog who doesn't like being rushed up to, intensely sniffed, jumped on, bowled over and all the other things "too friendly" dogs do and you see a "too friendly" dog rush towards you.  In fact, if this happens to my dog Bertie, it not only ruins our walk but it shatters his confidence and sets our training back by months. 

However, I very rarely see anyone offering advice about what to actually do if you do have a dog who just can't help but rush up to every dog he sees, whether he's welcome or not.  Posts telling people not to let their dog do this would be so much more helpful if they told people what they should do instead.  I can almost hear dog people rolling their eyes and saying "recall train them... duh!".  Unfortunately if it was that simple them no one would be having this problem.

How does a too friendly dog behave?
When I think of dogs that get labelled too friendly, rude or a bully they are usually dogs who will run up to almost any other dog.  They sometimes will lie down and watch the other dog, then rush up suddenly or they will just take off as soon as they seen another dogs and run towards them.  Dog's who behaviour is a problem will often go up very close to the other dog and usually totally ignore or do not recognise body language given by the other dog that says stay away.  Sometimes they will try and sniff the other dog, try and engage the dog in play or barge, jump onto or put their head over the other dog. 

Often people tell me their too friendly dog is over confident, but this rarely seems to be the case.  When I meet truly confident dogs, they are capable of greeting other dogs without making a pest of themselves, play without going over the top and don't approach dogs that give them signals that say stay away.

Sometimes our too friendly dogs will get a warm welcome from the other dog but then their play will become too boisterous for the other dog or will involve very over excited play.  Almost always they will ignore and/or evade their owners attempt to get them to come back.  On lead, our "too friendly" dogs will often drag their owner towards other dogs and sometimes be up on their hind legs by the time they get to the other dog.

Do your find yourself calling out "it's ok, he's friendly" or "he just wants to play" in an attempt to reassure the other dog owner? 

Before we can talk about what you can do to help your dog we need to think about why your dog behaves like this in the first place.

Why are some dogs too friendly?
It is helpful to think of too friendly dogs as being like the class clown.  If you think back to those kids in school who would joke around and be disruptive in class, the ones who would play pranks on others and generally be really silly.  Those kids weren't the ones who were deep down confident, they were using their silly behaviour in order to cope when they felt inadequate, insecure, confused or were socially anxious.  Sometimes these were kids who had other big emotional issues to deal with in their lives.

So when our dogs are being over friendly and silly, it's often because they are dealing with feelings of anxiety about social situations with other dogs.  They lack skills in how to understand and communicate with other dogs and compensate with over the top silly behaviour.  Sometimes our too friendly dogs have other, not always obvious, anxieties about the environment, wearing a collar, harness or lead, being close to their owner or other people.  

How to change the behaviour of a too friendly dog?
The first difficult thing to understand is that too friendly dogs, often need as much space from other dogs as unfriendly ones do while we work on changing their behaviour.  There is no point trying to train your friendly dog in the local park while he is distracted by a constant stream of other dogs passing by. 

Here are my top 6 tips to having a dog who behaves appropriately around other dogs.

Number 1 - Teach your dog that you are fun to be around.   
Find out what things your dog really loves and use those things to reward your dog for coming back to you.  Start in your house, after all if your dog won't come to you for a reward in the house, he's not going to come when he's in the park.  Once you've nailed it in the house, move outdoors.  Use a long line to keep your dog safe.

Find ways to play together, be it fetch with ball, tug or any game you invent both you and your dog enjoy.

Find out what foods your dog enjoys the most and give them to your dog generously whenever they pay you attention.  

Don't expect to go to the park, let your dog off lead and then switch off.  You need to keep your dog engaged and having fun with you.

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Number 2 - Prevent your dog practising unwanted behaviour
Use a long line when you are in parks around other dogs, so you can prevent your dog from rushing up to other dogs.  It's also a great idea to walk in quieter places so you don't have to deal with other dogs all of the time.

Number 3 - Encourage sniffing
Sniffing is a normal dog behaviour.  It helps dogs learn about the environment, learn about other dogs who have passed by and it helps relax our dogs.  Often too friendly dogs don't do enough of this.  Encourage this in your dog by walking him places where there is likely to be interesting sniffing.   Along the edges of the footpaths, along fencing, pavements and lampposts seem particularly interesting for canine noses.  Keep your dog on lead if necessary and if he is too excited to sniff, try scattering a few very small treats for him to sniff out and find.  Walk as slow as necessary to allow your dog to sniff as much as he likes.

Number 4 - Find helpful friends
Sometimes you will meet adult dogs who don't mind boisterous youngsters but who won't get involved in silly behaviour.  I call these "good example" dogs.  When you meet these lovely dogs ask the owner if you can walk with them for a little while, even just for a few yards.  Watch how the other dog will often find lots of interesting things to sniff as he ignores your dog until your dog is able to be calm.  

Allowing your dog to be in the company of "good example" dogs will give your dog a chance to learn about normal, acceptable doggy behaviour.  Even if you can't walk with these dogs, allowing your dog to watch them from a safe distance, where there is enough space that your dog is able to be calm, will be beneficial to your dog.  I call this "look and learn". 

Number 5 - Train your dog in a way that builds his confidence
If you can, join a fun, reward based training class where the focus is on building your dogs confidence rather than just traditional obedience.  Some trainers put on fun agility classes that are great for building confidence.

If you can't do this try putting up small and easily achieved obstacles in your garden.  Make sure you reward your dog for any attempts at interacting with the obstacles.   Have a look through our facebook pictures for ideas.

You can also use obstacles in the park such as logs, tree stumps and even benches.  If your dogs is having fun with you, they are not off pestering other dogs.
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Number 6 - Teach your dog how to enjoy walking on a lead
So often, walking on a lead is frustrating for both our too friendly dogs and their humans.  This is often the reason people let their dogs off lead even when they know they might struggle to get them back. 

Use a harness (perfect fit of ruffwear front harnesses are great) and not a too short lead (I recommend a halti training lead). As well as using positive reinforcement methods to teach your dog how to walk on a lead, make sure that being on a lead signals to your dog that you are going to have fun together.  Rather than walking where there are lots of off lead dogs, go on an adventure together.  Explore down new streets, hidden lanes and abandoned places.  Walk slowly and stop to let your dog sniff as much as need be.  Be inventive with where you walk.  Recently I walked round the grounds of abandoned hospital with my dog Velma.  Within minutes she forgot she was on lead and was excitedly following me as we explored together.

Finally, remember to be kind to yourself.  We all have days with our dog where we feel frustrated or embarrassed.  If you have a not so great walk with your too friendly dog, be gentle on yourself, go home and tomorrow is another day.

Jill O'Sullivan
Busy Bee Dog Training Glasgow

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